A Journey of Change

I am sitting here in my room in Chiang Mai at the beginning of my journey wondering where it will all lead.  I suspect I am not the only one who sold everything and moved to an exotic country that wonders what have I done and what does my future hold?  I have flung the door of my future wide open and ask nothing except that whatever I do brings me happiness and health.  I have stepped far away from the track of planning my life, any illusion of certainty, into a life of going where the wind blows me and trusting that it all works out in the end.  I was looking out the window today at a rainstorm and sitting in the knowledge that I am at the beginning of a journey that will change me, is changing me.  I will not know the full effects of this change until later when I look back at the person I was when I started and the person I will become as time goes on.  It is exciting to know that it is happening now, with every experience I have, every trip that scares and excites me at the same time.  

I have already noticed some things about myself as a traveler.  I have long known that I have some obsessive compulsive tendencies.  These make me a great organizer since I like to have all my ducks in a row and have a plan b and c.  I pay attention to my surroundings, I remember where I put everything and notice if something has been moved.  On the other hand, I like to have things just so, to be in control, and to have all the supplies I can think of at hand for every given scenario.  That is nearly impossible when traveling unless I want to bring extra suitcases with me.  Rather than giving in to that impulse, I limit myself to one suitcase, pack what I think is the most important and make do with what I have.  That is a good skill for me to learn.  I think part of that compulsion toward being prepared is a good thing; it has helped me many times.  But there is a dark side to it, which is wanting to have all eventualities covered out of fear that I will need something and not have it.  So I am finding a balance between being prepared and trusting my resourcefulness and ability to adapt.  

I want to continue to grow, to become more self-sufficient and adaptable, to learn how to achieve the same results with less or at least with whatever I can find wherever I am.  I love learning about ways people cure common ailments in different countries,  the foods they eat and the customs they practice.  I already love my expanding knowledge of geography and how to traverse all the places I have been to and this is just the tip of the iceberg.  So here’s to life and learning and following your heart no matter now frightening that can be!