Friday, September 9, 2022

A New Start?

I’ve been immersing myself in all things Lin Manuel Miranda since I got home and I have all this new inspiration but what prompted me to write this is I just watched a speech given by Daveed Diggs at the university he graduated from and it made me remember that I am living my life out of order. I always seem to feel like I’m not doing enough - or anything, to be honest. I have felt like a failure, like a lost puppy who can’t seem to find her bearing anywhere. So many things I’ve tried haven’t “worked out.” That’s a complicated phrase. Is it failure or learning? Listening to Lin and Daveed talk about their journeys I am reminded that I have been living my life almost backwards. I spent my youth navigating the dangerous waters of my family and my teens and twenties watching all my parental figures die and taking care of grany, a master class of difficulty and legacy and lunacy. Then in therapy I discovered that not everyone’s life is like this, that there is a better way. So I started to study. I didn’t realize how long the road would be. I started to take more leaps of faith and for the better part of a decade had very little to show for them. Listening to Lin and Daveed describe their first decade of pursuing their passions made me feel better. These last two years I have felt like a caterpillar in a chrysalis which sounds poetic but feels like goo and mess and death. Daveed spoke of rebirths in his speech and I am reminded of how I should have died when I got sepsis but for the sliver of a chance that I happened to be living with roommates who happened to find me in time - I didn’t die. I got another chance. Then the world as we knew it died. The pandemic hit and breathing was no longer safe so I locked myself away and kept myself safe but my soul died little by little. I enrolled in the online ordination course, desperately planting the seed that I hoped would help me find my way out again, and I struggled. I went to the hospital again, for the second time in two years and lost my gallbladder and broke a 44 year record of no surgeries, and found out that pain meds don’t work very well on me post-op. It took at least two months to recover from that. I wrote the final project for my class, bought my plane ticket to London and bought a box of KN95 masks, terrified of the virus but determined to go to my graduation. And I did. And I traveled, and it was hard and exhausting and my body almost couldn’t keep up but there were sweet moments with friends and some great Instagram pictures and I finally made it home, where my life was patiently waiting for me. I had lost my previous dwelling, having gotten a last minute eviction notice and packed as fast as I could to get everything in storage in time. All that was waiting for me when I returned. I started to watch more Lin Manuel Miranda interviews. I reached out about places to live on Craigslist. I went to a really nice farm in Grass Valley that looked great on paper but the owner was a terrible fit for me. I was disappointed. I had a place in Auburn lined up that sounded nice but the owner told me that there was someone before me who had expressed interest in it. I was disappointed. I have had so many terrible living situations I despaired of where I would land this time. I found an adorable RV park outside of Colfax with a tiny motel room that would do, and the Auburn lady said I was first on her list. The wind shifted. Now I had two good places to pick from! I went with the Auburn house and it has been wonderful. I have been watching everything I can get my hands on from Lin Manuel Miranda and his work and his worldview are seeping into my pores. I am inspired again. I have energy again. And I remember that I have already done some of the hardest work I will (likely/hopefully) ever have to do. I’m living my life backwards. Yes I’m 44 but I’m like a new college grad, just discovering how my passion fits into the world. Maybe I can make something of this life after all. 





 


Saturday, March 12, 2022

My Body Is Not A Temple

 My body is not a temple. My body is a rental car, and I got a lemon. 


When we incarnate, come to Earth for whatever purpose we do, we are given a body, like a rental car. Some people get brand new rental cars that work great, come with all the bells and whistles and a great maintenance plan. Some people get a clunker that barely works, or does not work at all. It sits in the garage, demanding large amounts of care and maintenance before it will do the most basic of tasks, like take us to the grocery store or God forbid, somewhere fun once in a while. Some people get rental cars that only work for a day, a week, a month, or a few years before they have to turn them back in and go back to Wherever We Come From. The whither-tos and the why-fors (as Bilbo Baggins would say) are hotly debated. Where do we come from? Why do we come here? What is the point? When faced with mortality, one must try to answer these questions. What do I want to do with my limited time here on the blue marble? If I die tomorrow, or next year, or live until I’m 80, the questions are the same. Why me? Why now? What am I supposed to do here? What do I want to do with this time I have? Some of us have more choices than others. We all have options in different measure. One person might be healthy but struggle with money. Another might have a great career but have a hard time with relationships. I have a decent brain and a crappy body. So I find myself in a narrow margin of the crossover between what I want to do, what I need to do, and what I actually can do. And that margin gets narrower with each passing year. In my attempt to find something I can do, I have had what my friends refer to as many “adventures.” I suppose they are. The adventures, the crazy off the wall things I do with my life, are an attempt to find a niche I fit into as well as my way of saying to this rental car, I’m going to do as much as I can while I can and make my life as interesting as possible while I can still walk and live without too many medical restrictions. Because none of us really knows how much time we have, and this is even more apparent when living with chronic illness.


I just got my second tattoo this week. My body is sensitive, so I do not do well with the process. My tattoo artist and friend is very patient with me and reassures me that I’m ok, I’m not being too obnoxious, that she understands. Bless her heart. As I write this, I am recovering from that process as well as some unknown abdominal pain that might be nothing or might be the thing that kills me. Or worse, somewhere in between. 


I died of sepsis once. They found me and brought me back to life. I am grateful for that, and for the second chance in this beat up rental car, but the fear is still there. What if this is a tumor and I’m going to have to have surgery (one of my worst fears)? Currently I take nine pills per day, which is more than I would like, but pretty manageable. What if my health gets worse? At this point I think I would rather just die than have to be subjected to painful medical interventions, but it’s impossible to predict how I’ll react if I am presented with that choice. I did have some time, last time I narrowly escaped death, on that medical bed to think. As I lay there receiving life saving treatment, not one doctor or nurse  told me what was going on. So I had some time to consider that idea that I might die there and what the meant for me. I was strangely ok with it, and only lamented that I would not get to spend more time with my friends, doing what I loved. (This was right before Covid, and little did I know that would happen anyway, at least for the next couple of years and as of this writing, who knows how much longer?) Finally I asked my ICU nurse, “Am I dying?” They looked shocked and reassured me that no, I was going to be ok. I wonder that I had to ask. 


So why do I put myself through the unnecessary pain of a tattoo, when I spend the rest of my life avoiding pain? Because I’ve only got this rental car for a little while, and I want to decorate it. There’s no use in preserving it, keeping it “pure.” It was never that way to begin with, so I might as well have some fun with it before my time is up and this body is discarded. I wonder what I will think about all this when I get back to Wherever We Come From? I suppose I want my legacy to be that I did my best, was kind and loving more often than not, and made my space a little brighter. And had some fun along the way. 


(Addendum - that abdominal pain ended up being my gallbladder, which I had to get removed.)



Sunday, May 3, 2020

Crazy Places I Have Lived

In the search for a lifestyle that suits me and something I can manage with my chronic illness, I have had some interesting experiences. In 2014 I decided to sell my condo downtown and search for a different, less expensive lifestyle. It sold towards the end of 2014 and I went on a five and a half month trip through Asia and Europe. The original goal was to become an expat in Thailand but I discovered the expat life isn’t for me, so I came back to California. After I came home from my trip, I fell into housesitting more or less full time. The problem was that the jobs didn’t always line up back to back so I had to find places to stay in between jobs. I was really mobile because I carried everything I needed with me in my car, no furniture or anything.



The first place I booked on Airbnb looked great until the owner gave me the tour. I am pretty green and want to save the planet and reduce waste but this lady took it to the next level. She had a bucket in the shower to collect the water that she would use to water the plants. She wouldn’t flush the toilet until it had been used several times. Things like that, all these rules she expected me to follow. And they are all very good ideas for saving water but to expect a guest to follow them is going too far in my opinion. I never even used the shower and flushed the toilet before I used it, which of course got me yelled at. I’m sorry but that’s gross! And she was so negative. All she did was complain about people and watch horrible negative things on tv. I left the next day. 

I went and stayed with a friend while I regrouped and tried to find a new place. I figured if I could rent a room cheaply, then I could just use it between jobs. I found a house with a cheap room that was kind of cluttered but seemed ok. And they had an adorable lab puppy. So I put the deposit down and moved in. What I didn’t know us that the owner was a controlling banshee who yelled at her daughters all the time and tried to treat me like a child. There were signs up in the house like in the laundry room warning me to use my OWN soap and NOT TOUCH their supplies! (Not that I would have, but yikes!) And she had several small dogs that peed and pooped freely all over the house and no one cleaned it up or tried to potty train them. The last straw was when she tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t do in my own bedroom. So one day I packed up all my stuff and moved it out to the car past her while she was watching tv in the living room. She didn’t even notice what I was doing. When I was all packed, double checked to make sure I had everything, I announced to her that I was moving out, she had my 30 days notice and left. 

The next place I looked at was super clean and really nice. The lady was friendly and the area was good, so I thought this was going to finally be the place that worked out. I put down my deposit there and came back the next day to move my stuff in. As I was bringing stuff in, this really ratty homeless looking man came in from the garage and said hello. Now, I had been told it was the lady and another female roommate that lived there, so I had no idea who this man was. I looked at him and said “hello?” He introduced himself and said he was the owner’s ex-husband and he was living in the garage. Wow. Lie #1. Lie #2 was that the owner had failed to mention that the washer was broken and she had no intention of fixing it. Still, I was tired of moving around so I ended up staying there for a few months. I was rarely there because when I wasn’t housesitting I would get up early, go out to a local coffee shop, work on my computer all morning, run errands, do dog walking jobs, anything to stay out of that house until late at night. One weird thing was that for some reason, I never used the kitchen aside from storing a few things in the fridge. I had a kettle in my room and I would make coffee and oatmeal and such but I just never felt comfortable cooking in the kitchen, and I never knew why until I moved out. There were just a lot of little things that made living there difficult which I won't get into here. The final straw that made me leave was on Christmas Eve. The ex-husband was there with his son and some random guy who I will call “the idiot.” They were drinking and getting more and more rowdy as the night wore on. The idiot was bragging about having a gun. Eventually it broke out into a fight and I left through the front door, went around the corner and called the police. The owner and her daughter had gone in the back yard which didn’t have a gate, and were trapped there. She shouted over the gate that the idiot’s pit bull had bitten her. I asked her if she wanted me to send EMS but she said no. I was still on the phone with dispatch when the idiot got in his car - drunk - and drove away. I told the dispatcher as much and added that the fight was probably over and that I was sorry if I had wasted her time. She said that was ok and asked if she could send some officers later to check on things. I said that would be fine and thanked her. I told my friends what had happened and they insisted that I go over to their house that night. So I ended up spending Christmas Eve and morning with my friends. When I went back, I told the owner that I was giving my 30 days notice and she wasn’t surprised. Then she started telling me all about the roommate. Turns out she was schizophrenic and had made food for the other roommates but put things like dish soap in the food, trying to poison (?) them. They also had her on camera opening the front door and physically kicking the dachshund out of the house. She never bothered to tell me any of this before when I was living next door to the lady and sharing a bathroom with her and the ex-husband, but she spilled the beans that day.

After that, I stayed at my friends’ house until I left for a training event in Utah. My intention after the training was to stay in Utah and try and find a job. I stayed with an adorable Mormon couple who offered to let me stay as long as I needed until I figured out where I was going. They were the sweetest folks! When they learned I had never experienced a weenie roast, we had one that night along with s’mores which I also had never experienced. They were delicious! The wife went to Salt Lake City with her adult children and left me with the husband who was nearly blind and deaf and an absolute darling and a hoot! He had built the house himself and done an amazing job. He told me all about the construction of the house and stories from his time in the Navy and the time he and his brothers bought a mining claim in Alaska and took turns going up there to work the mine. He had built a little contraption that you put marbles in the top and watch them go down all these little paths until they came out a receptacle in the bottom. It was mesmerizing and I spent a lot of time playing with that little contraption in their beautiful back yard. He also shared with me that one of his favorite things was to go down to the turkey processing plant and get a bag of the organs for cheap. He would cut them up and eat them with gravy. He finally convinced me to try them and I really tried to like them but I just couldn't. I was trying to take a bite and tell him they were good but he took one look at my face and said "that's ok, you don't have to eat it!" He was so nice about it. I think we ended up giving my portion to the dog. I'll never forget him; he was such a character and so kind. Within a few days I found a job at a lodge in a national park so I said my goodbyes and headed for my next adventure.


I arrived at the lodge and was shown around, given a uniform and schedule. I was to work at the front desk. The park was absolutely beautiful and I took advantage of some down time and booked a horseback ride into the canyon, an experience I will never forget. It was really fun to be part of the back of house and experience what it’s like to be part of the staff and eat in the dining room which provided breakfast, lunch and dinner. I met some great people, a few of whom I am still friends with. I also worked the night shift and learned how to do a night audit and start a fire, a very handy skill to have. However, I quickly learned that the front desk was seriously not organized, information was piecemeal and not consistent, the manager treated us like children and that it wasn’t a good place for me to be. Plus, my roommate was, let’s just say, very difficult to live with. She had documented mental health issues that management knew about, she had had problems with roommates before, there were other rooms available, and yet they still put me with her. In the end, I didn’t trust my manager because they didn’t keep the terms of employment I was hired with, and I decided to get out before I got snowed in. I had breakfast, packed all my stuff, and went to HR and let them know I was quitting. We did all the HR stuff and I drove from Utah to Yuba City in one day. Got to Yuba City at about 1am. 

I stayed with my friend in Yuba City for a week or two until I found another room for rent in Oak Park. It was a beautiful house, nice and clean, and I was the first person to rent from the owner who had just bought it with the intent of renting out several rooms. He had a job at some residential treatment center so he was almost never home, so I mostly had the place to myself. Everything was great, and I was making myself at home. About a week and a half into my stay I sent a text to the owner about something and he replied with “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I asked him “Why? What did I do?” He said he couldn’t explain it, it was just a feeling and that I made prospective renters nervous which didn’t make any sense because I only saw them for a few seconds. Also, another lady he had agreed to rent to showed up with a moving truck on the day she was supposed to move in and he turned her away. I didn't think of it at the time, but that was a breach of contract. I don’t understand why he was getting rid of all his renters if his goal was to rent rooms in this house. Ultimately I didn’t get an answer and had to look for another place. 

Fortunately, one of my girlfriend’s sons was just moving out of her house so she offered to rent the room to me on a short term basis before she sold the house in the summer. That gave me enough time to find a listing for a trailer in Fiddletown. I was intrigued by the off grid lifestyle and thought this would be a great chance to try it. Unfortunately I signed a lease right when we had the flood of the decade so I was sidelined for about a month at my sister’s house until the flooding went down and I could get in there and set up. But it paid off, I learned a lot about solar energy, exactly what I need vs. want and that I really don’t use that much electricity. I didn’t have heat, hot water, refrigeration or a freezer, but I found I could live without those things. I had a little propane stove that worked just fine and running water from the solar well the owner had installed. I did realize that I prefer to have cell reception. My trailer was like a Faraday cage and I had no signal in my area so if I wanted to make a phone call I had to walk down the hill quite a ways. So that was inconvenient. I also learned that even though I hated the spiders, I could deal with them but as the weather warmed up the hornets discovered me and would hurl themselves against the screen windows to try and get into the trailer. I learned that hornets were a deal breaker for me. I would get up early before the hornets did and drive into town and not come back until dusk. But I couldn’t stay out too late or it would be pitch black and I would be exposed to any number of predators, one of which had killed two dozen sheep in the time I had lived there. I think it was probably a pack of dogs but there were confirmed sightings of mountain lions and bears as well so I definitely didn’t want to be hiking to my trailer in the dark. My friend Howard started calling me Spam In A Can because I was a tasty morsel in my little metal trailer. When I moved into the trailer there was a couple with two children living down the hill, three alpacas that kept the grass down, and the owner lived on site. After a few months, the couple split, the man left, and the lady and her kids left soon after that and sold the alpacas. I never realized the effect the alpacas had until they left. The plant life took over everything within about a month. There was no way I could drive my car up to my trailer and now I had to worry about snakes in the grass. Then the owner left on a long trip to Spain and I found myself alone on the 50+ acre property with no cell signal, trapped by a gate that was jury rigged to a car battery that the owner somehow expected me to be able to fix. Soon enough the gate malfunctioned and I had to climb over and release it from the other side to get out. I had clients I had to see so that was the deal breaker for me. I didn’t want to be trapped in or out by this gate, alone on the property unable to call for help if something happened. So I gave him my notice, drove up super early one morning and packed everything out before the hornets got up. I look back on that experience as a positive one, however. I really learned a lot about the pros and cons of living off grid and what I do and do not want to live without. And I have lots of great pictures and memories of my time there. 



























Another reason I left my Fiddletown place is because I had gotten a part time job as a TaeKwonDo instructor to supplement my housesitting income and because classes were in the evening, I was not able to get home before dark which was necessary for life in the woods. After I left Fiddletown I decided to try Airbnb again. I had better luck this time and found a couple of hosts that had great places for reasonable prices that I could book stays with in between jobs. As long as I kept enough days booked in a month, it wasn’t too hard on the budget. And with the TaeKwonDo job and side dog walking jobs it was actually working out pretty well. 

After awhile, the lady I was working with at the satellite school wanted to leave her boyfriend so we arranged to get an apartment together. She found a gorgeous apartment that the tenants were breaking the lease on so we got it at a good price. Unfortunately after only a few months she decided she wanted to move back to her home town and broke the lease, leaving me holding the bill for the entire rent. That was not in my budget. It took me about a month and a half to get another renter in, but she turned out to be the best roommate I’ve ever had. She was quiet and nice, and I really enjoyed having her there. We ended up signing for another year. Then about four months before the lease was up she decided to move in with her boyfriend but made me an offer to pay a quarter of the rent because she felt bad about walking out on the lease. I took the offer and ate the rest of the cost but had the apartment to myself for the rest of the lease. Expensive but very nice. I miss that place, the grounds were gorgeous and the location was fantastic. 

That brings me to where I am today. After the apartment fiasco I vowed never again to be financially responsible for a lease, and I got lucky and one of my friends knew someone who was renting a room with private bathroom and fridge in the garage for a very good price. So I moved in and that’s where I am now. At the time of this writing I have been here nine months and I don’t want to go anywhere soon. It took me five years but I finally have a place that is affordable and sane. It’s been a bumpy ride but interesting and educational, that’s for sure! 

Monday, July 27, 2015

The Expendable Spoon





When my friend Chris was leaving for his epic European backpacking trip, our friend Howard gave him a spoon to take with him.  I asked him why a spoon and here is what he said (as I understood it):

When we are young and just getting started in life we buy what supplies we can on our limited budget.  Cheap silverware, maybe mismatched plates from the thrift store, whatever we need.  As we get older, we are able to have more stability and maybe we graduate to a house, car, matching silverware.  So the old stuff gets thrown in the back of the drawer.  But every once in awhile, we may have the opportunity to go on a trip or do something that requires packing a lunch and we need to take a spoon with us.  We don’t want to risk losing one of our nice pieces, so we grab the old forgotten spoon from the back of the drawer because it is expendable.  We go on our trip, come home, wash the spoon and put it away, back in the forgotten recesses of the drawer.  Next time we need an expendable spoon, we grab that one again, and it comes with us on another trip, another adventure.  Over the years, our nice silverware gets used, washed, and put away, but this old spoon gets to go on all the adventures with us, and after awhile, it starts to take on meaning.  We start to attach fond memories to it and it becomes more than the old expendable spoon, it becomes the adventure spoon.  That’s why he gave our friend a spoon, to teach him that the ordinary can take on an extraordinary new life.  

As I reflected on that story, thinking what a great concept that was, he added: maybe some of us are like that, we are the oddballs, the expendable spoons, but we go on the greatest adventures.  

My friend is a genius.


(Clever spoon photo, courtesy of Chris Domingo
Spoon story courtesy of Howard Martell)

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Thailand Top Ten

TEN THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT THAILAND

  1. Coconuts are delicious, especially a chilled one on a hot day.  Cut the top off and stick a straw in and you have a magical drink that is extremely healthy as well!  Then you can take a spoon and scoop out the meat from the inside and it is very filling.  I love coconuts!  And mangoes.  Actually, all the fruit is amazingly vibrant and flavorful.  
  2. Street food, especially fried bananas, yum!  Samosas, roti, coconut ice cream, pad thai, cashew chicken, meat kebabs, Thai iced tea, smoothies...
  3. Bowing.  The Thai people put their hands together in the Namaste gesture and bow as a way of being polite.  I loved it!  It felt so nice to bow and show respect and goodwill with just a simple gesture that everyone understood.  Politeness is very important there which was really refreshing.  I found the Thai people to be amazingly patient with me and I enjoyed interacting with them and they seemed to enjoy teaching me about their culture.  
  4. Decorations.  Everything there is decorated, the rooftops, the fences, there are altars and offerings and statues everywhere.  It makes everything so interesting.  It’s going to be boring looking at plain old buildings again.
  5. Inexpensive prices - it really is amazing how cheap some things are.  You can get a meal for $.75, clothes and shoes for $6, haircut for $7, taxi ride for $6, songtaew ride for $.60, rent for $100 a month and up. 
  6. Tuk tuks and songtaews.  Public transportation is incredible there, just stick out your hand and flag one down, they are everywhere.  I will miss being driven around in a tuk tuk and feeling like a princess! (A songtaew is a converted pickup truck with a cover on the back and two benches along the sides.  You tell the driver where you want to go and hop in.  It's a very efficient and cheap way of getting around.)
  7. Speaking three languages in one day and somehow making it work. (English, French, and Thai)
  8. Elephants and tigers and water buffalos, oh my!  And the cute little geckos.
  9. Monks everywhere.  It was so cool to see the monks in their orange robes walking around everywhere, doing normal things like shopping at the mall or riding a songtaew.  It's like a reminder of the spiritual in the everyday life.  I also was honored to get a blessing from a monk at the temple, which was a really nice experience.
  10. A general feeling of spirituality, history, and culture everywhere you go.  Lots of festivals, blessings, offerings, and rituals to make every day sacred.  Also a laid back feeling and a slower pace of life.  Things aren't rushed, they happen when they happen.  Sometimes that was frustrating but for the most part I was able to relax and go with the flow.

TEN THINGS I AM EXCITED TO GET BACK TO/WON’T MISS ABOUT THAILAND


  1. Remedies that I am used to like Ibuprofen and Tums.  Couldn't find anything like them over there.    
  2. Mexican food, mmmmm.  Any kind of beef for that matter.   
  3. Drinkable tap water, not having to worry every time I brush my teeth or wash something out.  
  4. Mayonnaise - the mayonnaise there is disgusting!  I don't know what they did to it but that’s not mayonnaise!  Also tomato sauce is weirdly sweet, like they didn’t quite get the recipe right.
  5. Pest Control!  Clark, I needed you in Thailand!  No disease carrying mosquitos or deadly snakes/spiders/insects/arthropods everywhere you turn.
  6. Air conditioning.  OMG the HEAT!  Dying of heat every freaking day! Sweating and sweating and all the restaurants are open air, aargh!  Eating under fans with ants all over your table.  Ugh!  Covered with ant bites, better than mosquito but still not fun.
  7. Clean streets.  There is a serious trash management problem there, which probably doesn’t help the rat/cockroach situation.  And general OSHA/FDA oversight.  They’re not perfect but they’re better than nothing.
  8. Smoking everywhere.  I couldn't get away from it whatever I did.  The best I could do was try not to breathe too much of it in.  
  9. Seeing the people I love and have missed, not just on Facebook, although that was pretty fun.
  10. Freedom of speech and the freedoms we take for granted.  Life is hard over there and they don't have the basic freedoms we take for granted.  This is the first time you'll hear me talk about this because I was afraid to say anything while I was in country.  It's not a joke, the government can do anything they want and the people have little to no rights or recourse.  That general unsafe feeling weighed heavily on me while I was there and I can tell you I am so thankful to be an American citizen!  It's not perfect here but we are so very fortunate to have the freedoms that we do.  

Monday, May 25, 2015

The Thailand I Read About

This week I moved into a new place, a guest house called Mango House.  It is located inside the old city, which I have never considered before.  Everyone I talked to said to avoid the old city, that it was dirty and I wouldn't like it.  I guess that's a lesson learned, it's always good to investigate for yourself, no matter what people tell you.  
The guest house is located on a very nice street called Moonmuang Soi 9.  It it a residential area with trees and plants, houses and animals, and lots of little restaurant-shacks and other businesses like massage parlors, tattoo parlors, hair salons, laundry shops, convenience store-shacks, and a ton of other little random stuff.  I wake up in the morning and go across the street and order an "American" breakfast; eggs, toast, fresh fruit and orange juice.  People walk by on the street who look like they just rolled out of bed, hair sticking up, clothes all rumpled, looking like they desperately need a cup of coffee!  That's what I love about here, there is no pretense, no makeup, people just show up as they are.  This morning I was eating and one of the staff came out, apparently from the shower because her head was still wrapped in a towel, and started taking orders.



I call them shacks; they're not exactly shacks but they are certainly not restaurants like we have in the states.  As far as I can tell, there is a house in the back and they put up a shelter, like a carport in the front, with a kitchen and chairs and tables.  When they close, they just pull down a giant metal rolling door and lock it all up.  
I have a very nice room here, it is all decorated in blue.  You can see the beautiful painting hanging above the bed in the picture.  The rest of the room is blue as well, and it makes for a very soothing atmosphere when I get home hot and sweaty from the day.  The bathroom is tiny as you can see, that's it.  There is no shower like we have in the states, when I want to take a shower I close the door and use the shower attachment you can see on the wall and the whole bathroom turns into a shower.  Actually I think it's a really smart space saving design and pretty easy to use once you get used to it. 
Thai class is going well and I am now able to carry on a basic conversation in a restaurant with limited English.  So that’s fun!  The Thai people are very gracious about my attempts to speak Thai and genuinely seem pleased that I am making an effort.  They are very helpful and often teach me a new word or give me hints when I am not sure.
Also, in an unexpected turn of events, I asked the owners of the guest house, who are French, if I could practice my French with them.  I didn't know if they would be keen on helping me, as I have had limited success with other French speaking people.  But to my pleasant surprise, they are gracious and even enthusiastic about helping me with my French!  So around the guest house, we speak mostly French, then I go out and speak Thai in the markets and restaurants, and speak English with my friends.  This is a dream come true for me.  I have always been in awe of people who speak more than one language (and even a little jealous).  I feel like I am finally getting clear on what I want to do with this next season of my life, and becoming a polyglot is definitely at the top of my list. It is exciting, I finally feel like I'm where I want to be and starting to develop into the person I want to become!

Monday, May 18, 2015

Housing, Tai Chi, and Temples

This week has been one of waiting and searching for new roach-free housing.  I really wanted to stay in the area called Nimmanhaemin where the roach condo was but the more I looked, the more expensive it was getting.  Most of the condos and apartments here are as expensive as Sacramento!  I did not come here to pay that much money. So I kept looking.
(Picture: This beautifully decorated tree is in a courtyard with restaurants and shops that I recently discovered.  Most people come out at night to hang out because it is so hot during the day.) 
While all that was going on, I also started Tai Chi classes at a little studio just inside the old city.  It’s in a really nice neighborhood with lots of little shops and shacks and I thought it would be interesting to move there.  I hadn’t considered the old city yet because until now I wanted a condo with a kitchen so I could cook.  After the condo drama I have changed my criteria.  I have given up on the notion of a kitchen, it’s just so rare here (read: expensive).  I started looking into the guest houses but what I found initially was not inspiring.  So I just sent out a prayer that God or the universe would lead me to something.  I was walking down the street after tai chi one day and a voice called out to me “are you looking for a room?”  I wasn’t thinking about that at the moment so I said “no thank you” and kept walking.  About a block down the street, something was bugging me.  So I walked back.  
This is one of my favorite pieces of graffiti I have found.
The place was painted bright orange and had a sign that said Mango Guest House.  I told the man “yes, I would like to look at your rooms.”  He took me upstairs and showed me.  The room was painted a beautiful sea blue and had an elephant decal on the wall.  He said I could get a room with air-conditioning if I wanted.  I said yes, absolutely.  I asked him if he had cockroaches.  He is French, and didn’t understand the word.  So I showed him a picture on my phone.  He jumped and said “Non, of course not!  My place is clean!”  I said “good, because I don’t like cockroaches.”  We made a deal that I would move in on Wednesday and give it a try for a month.  So next week I will let you know how that is going!
While that was going on, I have been doing some fun things.  I started my Thai classes this week.  The first day we went over greetings, how are you, what is your name, etc.  The language classes are Mon, Wed, Fri and on Sundays there is a cultural component.  This Sunday they took us on a field trip to a local temple!  It was really cool, they gave us flowers to place on the buddha statue (see above picture), then we went inside the main temple.  At the front you could buy bowls of coins and there was a long table with 100 or more bowls lined up and you walked around in a circle and dropped the coins in the bowls.  I don’t fully understand the history and significance of it, but it was very meditative and I thought about all the bowls representing all the blessings in my life and just thought about being grateful.  Another thing I did was get a blessing from a monk.  Usually women are not allowed to touch monks but in this case, I knelt in front of him on a mat and he sprinkled me with water.  The I held my arm out and he tied a braided string on my wrist.  
So things are going pretty well, there have been some mishaps and detours but it’s all part of the adventure!